Wednesday, May 18, 2011

31 Days of May ~ Day 18

18.  Plans/Dreams/Goals I have.

This kind of goes with Day 13 for the things I want to achieve in my life.
I want to get my RN, have babies (biological and/or adopted) and buy our very modest dream house.  I want to go through the temple with Josh.  I have a lot of work ahead of me to get there, but that's one of the wonderful things about our religion, repentance and remission of sins.  I get anxiety when I think about going to church on Sunday morning because church was kind of brutal when I was growing up.  Our family wasn't like the other families in Franklin and I had my rebellious teenage years and I felt like I was judged on the rare occasion I did go to church.  I had great mutual leaders who made me feel very welcome but teenage girls can be really mean and I was uncomfortable.  So I had a hard time going and I feel like that has crossed over into my adult life.  Josh and I aren't active in our church but totally believe and have faith in everything we've been taught about our religion.  We need to go for us and not the people even though that's hard sometimes.
Josh and I have talked about what we would do if we weren't able to have kids.  If that is the case, we want to travel all over and see the world together.
When I get my RN I want to work with babies in the nursery or with cancer patients, especially children.  I know that will be very hard but I also think it will be so rewarding and amazing.
I want to be the best Aunt I can to all our nieces and nephews.  They may be the closest thing I'll have to my own children and I want them to know how special they are to me and how much I love them.
I plan to grow old with Josh.  Sitting side by side, holding hands until the end of this life knowing we lived good, happy lives waiting to see Eternity.


Vicki said...

Hmmmm it was'nt just you....... I felt the same way about those snooty teenage girls in our ward! So judgmental, which I hate cause it gives ALL LDS People that Stereotype : /

The Porter Family said...

We didnt have to try as long as you have for a baby but we did for 3 years and I know how hard it is to see people pregnant or people with kids, it just crushes you and all you want to do is cry but I believe that everything happens for a reason and if you believe like you say you do then Im pretty sure you feel the same way so this came to me today, maybe you cant get pregnant for a reason, you need to go to the doc and see what he says and if he says you cant have kids (i know this is your fear) its because your baby is already here on earth waiting for you, you just need to find him/her. We dont pick our children, they pick us, maybe a child has already picked you but was just brought to earth by someone else but then again, maybe the doc will say yes you can have babies, then you will just have to have alot of fun trying:) No, really you'll just have to try harder is all, which just makes that baby even more special in so many ways, it makes it a miracle. It will work out one way or the other, have faith.