Memorial Day

We had a BBQ at Brian and Chelsie's new house for Memorial Day.  We had to make it quick since Chelsie had to work that night and needed to take a nap.  Brian manned the grill since my dad was at work, too.  It was freezing so we stayed inside.  The boys had fun making messes in Chelsie's house and Gavin decided to dump his food on the stairs instead of eating it.

My mom made pumpkin chocolate chip cookie sandwiches that were soooo yummy!!  And Gavin loved eating them.

Branson finally talked us into going outside for a bit.  So we bundled him up because the wind so was so dang cold and went outside.  He loves blowing the dandelions.

We hurried and got pictures of Jade and Brittiney and Josh and I before we froze!

Luckily the sun was out for a lot of the time we were up there but as we left the storm clouds moved in again. We've seen these way too much lately.

31 Days of May ~ Day 30

30.  Who are you?

When I hear this saying, I think of the CSI song by The Who.  Can't get it out of my head!
Anyway, who am I?

* I am a child of God

* I am a daughter

* I am a sister

* I am a wife

* I am a mother to my 4 furbabies (that still counts as being a mother, right?)
* I am an Auntie

* I am a friend

* I am nice

* I am loyal

* I am loving

* I love to laugh 

* I am a girl who likes to be annoying and take pictures of everything. :)

* I am a blogger

* I am a reader

* I am a dancer (behind closed doors for only me to see these days, except for Zumba class :) )

* I am an American and am so thankful on this Memorial Day for those in the military who have fought and who are fighting for this great country of ours and for the freedom we all have.

31 Days of May ~ Day 29

29.  In the past month, what have you learned.

I don't think I've gained any life-changing wisdom during this past month.  But I have learned that my family is strong.  We all have our demons we have to fight and we can succeed when we stick together.
I love the rain but one month of it straight is just too much, especially when horses are up to their bellies in water.  We went for a drive on Saturday and saw this.  Poor things, it really needs to dry out.

31 Days of May ~ Day 28

28.  A picture of me last year and now, and how I have changed.

I don't know that I've changed too much in the past year.  Maybe just another year older.  I have learned so much about photography.  That first pic is the first time Josh and I used the tripod to get pictures of us up in Logan Canyon with my new camera last year...oh and it was warm, not 50 degrees.  The first 10 pics were awful, the focus was on the mountains behind us instead of us.  That one is the best of the batch and it still isn't very good.  I love learning all I can about photography even though I have a beginner DSLR and don't have any fancy lenses, I still love it.  It inspires me daily.
I dared to go shorter with my hair and to straighten it more.
I've tried harder to accept my life for what it is and the life Heavenly Father has planned for me.  That doesn't mean I don't have my bad days because believe me, I do.  I still get in bed at night and cry silently to myself often, especially on the nights when Josh is at work.  I try to hide how much it hurts me that I haven't been able to and maybe even can't give Josh the family I know we both deserve.  It's something that seems so easy for others.  I get really angry and I mean ANGRY at people who can have kids and get pregnant so easily, especially when they can't take care of the kids they already have and take them for granted.  But that's on me, it's nobody's fault so I keep that to myself.  There are only 4 people who know how much I struggle with this.  Thank you to Josh, my mom, Shannon and Tara for listening to me and being there for me.  My friend Kenna has a quote on the side of her blog that speaks to me and I'm working on it.

She also said on her blog once, before she and her Josh adopted their adorable Boog, that she'd trade her best day without kids for someone's worst day with them.  I whole-heartedly agree.
I've applied to start my pre-reqs to get into nursing school.  I have a long way to go but I'm finally jumping on the bus to do something I know I've wanted to do since I was 16.

31 Days of May ~ Day 27

27.  Why are you doing this challenge.
I'm not very good at posting a lot, maybe once a week.  We're boring and don't have much going on.  So I thought this would be good way to post more at least for one month.  It also sounded like fun.  I had fun thinking of things for each day and subject.  It was challenging but I really enjoyed doing it.  And since this challenge is only 30 days and there are 31 days in May,  I need suggestions for the last day.  So if you want to, leave me a comment of something you would want to know about me.

31 Days of May ~ Day 26

26.  What you think of your friends.

Well, they are my friends so I like them.  Life takes control sometimes and you lose touch with the friends you had in high school.  That's one reason I like Facebook.  It's so easy to connect to people.  Jessie and Vicki are a few of my friends where it doesn't matter if you haven't seen each other for years, it's like you were with them yesterday when you see them again.  I love that.  I like my Bunco group for that reason, too.  I'm in it with Vicki and other girls I went to school with so it's fun to reconnect with them.
I love the friends I married into.  Ben and Ila and Jamiee and Jason are great friends and they are the same, we don't see them very often but when we do it's like we're just together.  Ben and Ilaria live in Switzerland so Josh and Ben try to stay connected with Googlechat a couple times a year.  And we keep saying we need to get down to Henderson to see Jaimee, Jason and their kids, we just need to plan a weekend and go!
Tara and Cody are our best friends and we love them like family.  Had Tara and I known each other when we were younger we definitely would have been friends.  We have so many of the same interests and like the same things.
I love all the people in our lives, that's why they're there.

31 Days of May ~ Day 25

25.  What's In Your Bag?
Oh man, I carry everything in my purse.
When I go purse shopping, it's a process.  I can't just pick any purse.  It has to be cute on the inside, the inside is just as important as the outside, and it has to have lots of pockets.
My camera is usually in there, I know that's terrible.  I really want an Epiphanie bag!  Either the Red Lola or the Pink Clover!  My wallet, toothbrush (which reminds me to get more toothpaste), lotion, nail file, pouch that has, tweezers, ibuprofen, band-aids and feminine products, gum and my sunglasses.  Then in one of my pockets I have all my lip stuffs, I have a bunch and don't know why I carry them all with me.  The main ones that I use is my Burt's Bees and my C.O. Bigelow Mentha Lip Tint.  The other pocket carries my sunglasses and iPod.  Then my antibacterial hand sanitizer.

In other news:

Today was the last day of Oprah.  She is one of my favorite people and I'm really going to miss her show.  I learned so much from her.  I wanted to watch the last show with my mom, who introduced her to me at a young age.  I got up to her house at 4 and they had breaking news of Brian David Mitchell getting a life sentence.  I'm glad he got that, he deserves nothing less for what he did to Elizabeth Smart.

Oprah's last show was really good, just her.  No fancy guests, no amazing giveaways, just her.  We did the ugly cry.  It was good to share that with my mom.  We always talk on the phone about "did you see this or that on Oprah" and I'm going to miss those conversations, although I don't think Oprah's done for good.  But I'm going to miss her and as she said on the end of her show, until we meet again. 

31 Days of May ~ Day 24

I couldn't decide between Tara's edited version of what today's post is supposed to be and what the original is so I'm going to do both.
24.  Favorite Things and Letter to My Parents.
Oprah's Favorite Things show was always one of my very favorites.  I loved seeing the people so excited for the amazing gifts they got from such a generous lady, especially the last couple years of the show where she gave them to people so deserving of them.  Going to her show with my mom was on my bucket list but obviously that dream will not come true as tomorrow is her last show.  I'm not giving anything away and my meager list of favorite things is nothing compared to her's but here it is...

My Camera and the pictures I take with it.

Candles.  I love a good candle.

My Tom's, love these and they are so comfortable.

Pink, I love the color Pink.  I'm drawn to it.

My iPod Touch.
Burt's Bees lip balm, the minty one.

(there is more than this but it's all i can think of right now, i'll add more as i think of them)

Letter to my parents, oh dear.  Where do I start?

Mom and Dad,

I'm not good with words but I will attempt to tell you how much I love you and how much you both mean to me.    

I'm so thankful for the two of you and I'm glad I chose you as my parents in the pre-existence.  I'm so thankful you two didn't throw in the towel and walk away during the times when it would have been much easier to do so.  You both toughed it out and worked it out with each other when things got hard and, to me, that is such an important lesson to teach your children.  Don't give up.  I'm so thankful I don't come from a broken home and I know my parents love each other for who they are and can accept each other for who they aren't.

You both gave me, Jade and Chelsie a great childhood.  We never had a want for anything and I know that we weren't wealthy by any means.  You both sacrificed so much so we could have the things we wanted and are awesome parents.  We are such a strong, loving family and it's because of you.

I hated our "family day" Sundays because my friends didn't have to do that with their families, they could be out doing something and I felt like I was missing out.  But now, none of that obviously matters.  We bonded during those Sundays of togetherness even though we didn't like it then and thought our friends were more important.

There was never a question in my mind of how important us kids were to you both growing up.  It's in every Jr. Jazz basketball game, softball game, basketball game, volleyball game, dance/Phi-Del competition and recital you both sat through because you love us.

Mom, what can I say?  We've grown up together since you had me at 18.  We are so close and I'm so thankful for our relationship.  I'm so lucky to have a mom that I can share my ups and downs with and you have no judgement on me.  Your kids are you most prized possession and we all know that because of how you raised us.  I love spending time together, just the two of us and the fun we have.  You truly are one of my very best friends.  

Dad, thank you for everything you've taught me and continue to teach me.  Thank you for always being there to help us when we need anything.  You are such an awesome father and I'm so glad you're mine.  I loved being your little fishing buddy when I was little, although I'm sure I didn't help you catch any fish.  I remember sitting on your lap in the Datsun on our way home from fishing one day and you let me steer the car, I thought that was just the coolest thing.  One of my favorite memories of you is when we were camping at Twin Lakes.  It was getting dark and you were sitting by the fire listening to The Rolling Stones, and the song "You Can't Always Get What You Want" was playing.  You told me that song was true, that you can't always get what you want but if you try you get what you need.  I don't know why that particular memory sticks out so much but it does and I love it.  It is something I've carried with me and it's so true to my life right now.

You both are priceless in my life.  I see you, I hear you and what you say matters to me.  I love you both.

31 Days of May ~ Day 23

23.  Something I crave a lot.

Josh and I quit drinking soda for over 2 years.  I craved a couple of drinks but never enough to make me want it.  I craved Sprite, Root Beer and the worst craving was Mt. Dew from a can, that's the best!  We used to go fill our 64 oz mugs every single night.  Caffeine doesn't effect my sleep so it was okay except for the amount of sugar and carbonation we were putting into our bodies.
So recently, we started drinking soda again.  I'm not sure how it started but we just let our guard down.  It's nothing like it used to be, we only have a couple sodas a week but I love me some Mt. Dew from the can and the new Supernova flavor.  Oh, it's yummy!

I am my father's daughter, we both love ice cream.  Ben & Jerry's is my fav and this is the current flavor I'm craving.

If I crave something salty, it's always chips and salsa.  The best are either Chili's or Angie's.

I want to learn how to make my own salsa this summer...maybe, if we can ever get a garden in with all this rain!

31 Days of May ~ Day 22

22.  What makes me different from everyone else.

This one is hard because I don't think I'm that different.  So I'll just list some things about me I guess...
I'm timid and shy until I get to know you.
I have curly hair.  I love my hair even though it's more of a love/hate relationship but I do like that I can do it both curly and straight.  Speaking of my hair, I only cut it a couple of times during my childhood except for trims but never cut a lot off until a few years ago.  It was always at least past the middle of my back.  When we got married it was past my waist.  And I never put any color in it until I was about 19.

These two pics were just before we got married.

 This was my first major haircut that Josh's cousin, Donna did for me.

I have a need for everyone to be happy.  I don't like attention on me, I'm really uncomfortable and nervous.

I also can't hide my nerves, my neck gets all splotchy and red.  It looks like I have hives.  It even does that when I eat in public, I guess I feel like I'm on display.  I don't like playing board games or any kind of game that singles me out for the same reason, it makes me nervous and uncomfortable and it's not fun.

I'm just a Plain Jane kind of girl.

31 Days of May ~ Day 21

21.  A picture of something that makes me happy.

Music

One good thing about music, when it hits, you feel no pain.

~Bob Marley

and this song is making me really happy right now.

Movies, especially funny ones.  I'm more of a comedy/romantic comedy kind of girl.

I have my go-to movies that always make me happy.

*Vacation (my all-time fav) will always make me laugh

*Christmas Vacation (can watch it anytime of year)

*How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days

*Ghostbusters 

*50 First Dates

*All Harry Potters

*Wedding Crashers

*Nothing But Trouble

These 3 kids make me so happy.

Noah, Elizabeth and DJ.

We got to watch Noah's baseball game today and we loved every minute of it, he is so good.  He's such a sweet boy who is slowly growing into a tweenager.

He will be 11 on Monday, he's growing up way too fast.

Elizabeth

It's her 9th birthday today.  She's the funniest little girl I've ever met.  She had us cracking up tonight at dinner.

She's so smart but so dingy at the same time.  I love her to pieces.

And my DJ

He had his 6th birthday on Thursday and I don't like it, he's getting too big.

That boy melts me.  I love that he still loves me so much and we still have such a strong bond.  I love how excited he gets when he sees us.  He hasn't felt well for about a month now and is going to go through some testing to see what is going on and it terrifies me.

This photo brings tears to my eyes.  I'm so glad I got that moment with him yesterday.  It was heaven.

I love that kid.

These kids are like my own, when they hurt I hurt, when they are happy I'm happy.
There's nothing I wouldn't do for them.

My family and Josh's family.

We went to Raedyn's baptism today in Ogden.  It was at St. Joseph's cathedral.  I have never been inside a cathedral or been to a catholic baptism so I was really interesting.  It went well and we had lunch at Alicia's parents' house.  It was really crazy so we barely got a picture of the 4 of them together, but I forgot to change some settings on my camera so the few pics we got didn't turn out very well.  It was fun though, the kids had a blast in the bouncy house.  

My furbabies.

They drive me crazy but I can't imagine my life without them.

Meow and Yoko who I don't have a decent picture of right now...

Our friends are the best!

(Tara, I love our flippy floppies with sockies!)

And last but certainly not least, this guy.  He makes me the happiest.

31 Days of May ~ Day 20

20.  My husband.

Oh, how I love him.

He was born January 21, 1976.

His early childhood was in Salt Lake.  Rosie was putting herself through nursing school so he and his little brother Shane spent a lot of time with their Grandmother, Elizabeth.

His teenage years were in Las Vegas.

Josh and Shane

His family moved to Wellsville when he was 17.  He moved around after high school and  lived in Tuscon for a while with Ben and went with Ben and Iladia on their honeymoon back to her home in Switzerland for 3 months.  He slept on a mattress in the hall and Ila's grandmother would speak to him in Italian asking him if he was hungry and he had no idea what she was saying.  He had his guitar and would sing and play in the train station during the day.

He is the most hilarious person I've ever met.  He makes me laugh everyday and that is one of the reasons I fell madly in love with him.  He is a very good singer/songwriter and I love listening to him play, so do our families.  His Uncle John always asks him if he brought his guitar down when he are over at his house.
He is a lover of video games.  I'm glad we got him off of World of Warcraft, though.  That was taking up way too much time.  He is really into Black Ops right now and loves playing with Cody and Atty and Jade when he's on.
He is almost done with school unless he decides to go for his master's.  And I'm so proud of him.  He is doing so well and has stuck it out even when it was hard and he didn't think he could do it anymore.  He's sacrificed a lot to get to where he is now.
I believe Heavenly Father put him on the Earth for me to find.  He so completes me.  He has changed my life. I don't know where I'd be without him but I know I'm better with him.

31 Days of May ~ Day 19

19.  Nicknames I have and why I have them.

I was called Kandiapple, Kandicane, and Kandiass while I was growing up.
Kandicane and Kandiass have stuck with me the most.
My grandparents called me Kandicerella after I complained that my mom made me do a lot more around the house than my brother and sister just because I was older....I had to put THEIR laundry away for Heaven's sake!
I don't have a middle name but my mom would call me Kandice Marie, don't know where Marie came from cause we don't have one in our family but I secretly liked it.
Tara calls me K.
Shannon has nicknamed me Kandicelou and Kandilou.
Josh calls me Mammie and Honey.

31 Days of May ~ Day 18

18.  Plans/Dreams/Goals I have.

This kind of goes with Day 13 for the things I want to achieve in my life.
I want to get my RN, have babies (biological and/or adopted) and buy our very modest dream house.  I want to go through the temple with Josh.  I have a lot of work ahead of me to get there, but that's one of the wonderful things about our religion, repentance and remission of sins.  I get anxiety when I think about going to church on Sunday morning because church was kind of brutal when I was growing up.  Our family wasn't like the other families in Franklin and I had my rebellious teenage years and I felt like I was judged on the rare occasion I did go to church.  I had great mutual leaders who made me feel very welcome but teenage girls can be really mean and I was uncomfortable.  So I had a hard time going and I feel like that has crossed over into my adult life.  Josh and I aren't active in our church but totally believe and have faith in everything we've been taught about our religion.  We need to go for us and not the people even though that's hard sometimes.
Josh and I have talked about what we would do if we weren't able to have kids.  If that is the case, we want to travel all over and see the world together.
When I get my RN I want to work with babies in the nursery or with cancer patients, especially children.  I know that will be very hard but I also think it will be so rewarding and amazing.
I want to be the best Aunt I can to all our nieces and nephews.  They may be the closest thing I'll have to my own children and I want them to know how special they are to me and how much I love them.
I plan to grow old with Josh.  Sitting side by side, holding hands until the end of this life knowing we lived good, happy lives waiting to see Eternity.

31 Days of May ~ Day 17

17.  Past travels and where I want to go.
I have been a lot of places when I think about it but still feel like there is so much out there to see.  I have so many places I still want to go, it's a big world out there.
I traveled the country when I was 17 on a church history trip and saw so many cool things and went so many cool places.  Here's a few...(sorry these pictures aren't very good)

Gettysburg

NYC

Times Square

 View from the World Trade Center

 The Statue of Liberty from World Trade Center

 Washington, D.C.

WWII Memorial Wall

 Washington Monument

 Lincoln Memorial

 Jefferson Memorial

 Washington, D.C temple

 Niagara Falls, US and Canada

Hannibal, Mississippi

The Mark Twain Riverboat

Palmyra, NY

Nauvoo

I went on a road trip to Canyonlands with Vicki and Jenna when we were little.

We went to Vegas as kids to our timeshare and have been a few times to visit our friends down there.
We went to San Diego for a week for our honeymoon, funnest week of my life.
My parents took us into Tijuana for the day while we were in California when we were kids, scariest hours of my life now looking back on it.  All the street vendors kept calling my sister and I "little Barbie dolls".
We missed the bus to get back into the states and it started getting dark so we had to bust our butts to get back to the border before dark.  They had little kids selling Chiclets on the streets and they yelled "money, money, money" at us as we we hauling butt to cross the border.

Places I want to go:
Josh and I are planning to go to England and Switzerland next spring, hopefully we'll really go.  I really want to take him to see Liverpool, the home of The Beatles, and want to go see London and explore the English countryside.  Josh went to Switzerland for 3 months with his friend and always tells me he wants to take me there because it's so beautiful.  While we're there I would love to stop in Ireland, Italy and see Paris.  I really want to go to Australia and see the Great Barrier Reef.  I would love to take Josh to all of the places I went on my church history trip, I would appreciate it so much more now and take way better pictures.  Hawaii would be fun and the Caribbean and Santorini, Greece.